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A movie I should write - 05/03/2001

Imagine Shannon Tweed (ST), Mickey Rourke (MR), Tania Robert(TR), Tracy Elisabeth Lord (TEL) in a road movie...
Like Thelma and Louise and KarateKid at the same time (the old master being the bum Mickey Rourke, of course, who does play blues on a cheap electronic organ).

And since I'm using Mickey Rourke, I can as well have a cameo by Jerry Lewis.
So far I have the first two chapters.

It starts in a country club with a phone call of TEL, the daugther, to her mother ST. For a reason I still haven't decided yet, ST is needed close to her daughter, up north (about 3 days of driving). So ST asks TR to come with her (I was thinking of adding some unfaithful husband here, but it does sound too much Thelma-and-Lousic, so let's said that they are just bored).
On the road, they met the bum (and the reason they accept to give him a ride is because one good friend (tall and black, ala Shaq) of him saved the women from rape (by a redneck of course). This hat makes a good scene with a few nasty lines (you saved my life, I don't know how to thank you ? no prob, a blowjob will do. I always had a fantasm on fiftysomething rich blond))).
The bum being mystical, they learn a bit or two during the 3 days of travel. Then they get to the daugther's city.

The friend of the bum might also be played by Dennis Rodman.

The daughter, played by TEL, is an author working under a masculine pseudonym. (her anonymity is one of the McGuffin of the movie). The reason she needs her mother is that the wonderful world of low-class paparazzi have decided to find out who is Richard W. BinBoge. What Richard writes is modern pulp that sells (aka sex and violence). The reason the paparazzi suddenly want to know who he is is because the last book talks about Italian Mafia, Chinese Triad, Japanese Mafia, Russian Mafia and Black Gansta and did happen to become news for the similarity of one event. (that was a old book, but still put the 15 minutes of spotlight on the author).
Paparazzi team are Christopher Walken, Paul Reubens and Rachel Ticotin. 'Weird' Al Yankovic is their boss.
Jennifer Connely is Tracy Lords' agent. Her husband is Johnny Depp (only a cameo at the end, since her husband is oversea, working on a oil platform in the North Sea).
The Mafia don is Woody Allen (in a cameo). The Killers working for the Mafia are Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. Of course at one point, DJ and MR meet and MR says to DJ "I love your Harley" while lightning a cigarette.
Jerry Lewis is a Russian Boss.
The Japanese Mafia chief might be Pat Morita, although I'm not sure how many "villains" I need so far. Killers are two women.
The Mafias are also interested in finding out who is Richard, in order to be sure he is not dangerous (you know the "good writer is a dead writer" way of thoughts)
Mix all and shake.
Originally published as jemisa.editthispage.com/discuss/msgReader$81
05 mars 2001